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Chapter 2 - The Forgotten Prediction
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The Fate of Alchemy - The Donnavi Prophecy - Chapter 2: The Forgotten Prediction
Here it is! You can thank the people I've been talking to these past few days who have been pressuring me to finish, reminding me that I promised this chapter for the end of August. So, I deliver! Of course, this being the second chapter, I recommend reading the first one before.
There seems to be a little graphic problem on some of the pictures, because of excessive photo editing, and I'm not able to fix it, so I appologize for that. I hope I can make up for it with good text!
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“In a few minutes, I’m going to allow you to read the first entry that appears in the journal we found with you.” said the doctor, looking into Bella’s eyes. It was a few days after Bella’s welcome party and she was sitting in the office of Dr. Auster, the man who had been assigned to follow her during her treatment, for her first therapy session. Jenny had warned Bella that Dr. Auster was partly of alien parentage and that he had green skin, just to prevent her from greeting her new doctor with a gasp for the first time. Bella found it ironic that, after being abducted, she was being helped to recover by an alien. It was somewhat like losing the ability to walk in a car accident, and being taught again by the drunk driver’s brother.
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Other than his remarkable alien skin tone, Dr. Auster had jet black hair and human blue eyes, that Bella found peculiar looking on an alien. He had been introducing her treatment for several minutes now, though Bella had already heard most of what he said from Jenny’s brothers and was starting to get impatient. He seemed quite distant and she had yet to see a smile of him. Bella would have preferred to be followed by one of the doctors she had gotten to know in the previous weeks, since her arrival. However, Jenny had explained that her treatment took place in a whole other service of the hospital and that her previous doctors weren’t adapted to it. She hoped that in time, Dr. Auster would warm up and become friendlier. Maybe he was the kind of person she would need to get to know to appreciate.
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“Ms. Goth, have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying?” said Dr. Auster, pulling Bella out of her contemplation.
“Sorry,” Bella sighed, “but I’ve been waiting for my therapy to start since I’ve been told about what happened to me. I’ve been rather eager to find out what it would consist of and my hosts have already explained a lot of this to me. I don’t mean to sound rude, it’s just that I know nothing of my life right now, and I’m dying to know about it. You see, you’re sitting there with a fragment of it between your hands, and I don’t think I’ll be able to concentrate properly on what you’re saying until I’ve read it. I’m just reaching the point where it’s unbearable not to know; I’ve been in the dark for four weeks.”
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The doctor didn’t smile, like most people would have, but his gaze changed ever so slightly, showing her he had understood.
“Very well,” he said, “I’ll let you read this now, and we’ll talk about it afterwards.” He got up, holding the excerpt in his hands and circled his desk, so that he was standing right next to her.
“Just bear in mind that these pages were photocopied from your original diary, so you only have one entry in this file. Once you’ll have read the entire diary this way, we’ll hand you back the whole journal.”
He placed the blue file in her hands and exited the room, announcing he would be back in a few minutes.
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Bella didn’t even wait to hear the door close, that she opened the file onto the desk. Inside were just a few pages, taken from her journal. Even though she had hardly used a pen these past weeks, she was able to recognize her neat handwriting scribbled across the pages into tight little paragraphs. The entry was dated from about a year and a half ago. Without taking another minute to appreciate her first glance, Bella began reading.
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'Monday January 1st 2000
The new millennium at last! Looks like all the Y2K panic was just nonsense, well not that we didn’t really suspect that already. I thought I would start this new era of time with a fresh new page; a new diary. Morty gave this new one to me for Christmas. He knows my taste perfectly; red is my color. Technically, I hadn’t really finished my last one but I just figured, what better day than today? Anyway, I’ve been eyeing this new one in my bookcase for a week now. I could no longer keep my hands off it!
Sadly, Morty couldn’t actually be with me last night for the countdown: some scientist convention in D.C. I was actually invited to come along, but any day I’d stay home rather than following him to one of those gatherings. I can hardly remember the last one with enough interest to actually consider going to the next.'
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'Cass finally attended the party she and Mary Sue have been planning for weeks. I wonder if Daniel actually enjoys being around them. It must make him feel younger or something. The sooner this man accepts the fact he’s turned forty, the sooner the tabloids can move on to something more interesting than commenting what he’s become after retirement. It’s not that I care so much about what he does with his life, but I am getting tired of seeing Cassandra in the background of his pictures. Maybe I still treat her like a kid but I dislike having her so exposed already. Just attending Mary Sue’s wedding was enough in a lifetime in my opinion. I don’t want her to be a social outcast, but I’m afraid she’ll lose credibility, if she always appears in those scandal magazines. Either way, I’m sure some photographers will have slipped into their evening last night.'
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'So, Mortimer had flown out to D.C. on Saturday and should be back later today. I was at Michael’s last night, with Alexander as my faithful servant for the evening. Well, until he went to bed around ten o’clock, that is. He may still be young for these parties but I’m sure he’ll make it to midnight in a couple of years. I must admit I had been reluctant to attend the evening, mostly because I knew seeing Michael meant seeing Dina as well, but I hadn’t seen him since the wedding and he seemed so excited about last night. I didn’t want them to realize, I’ve been avoiding them these past months. It seems my hopes of seeing this marriage end quickly aren’t becoming true though, they seemed happier than ever together last night or at least he did. I’d love to be happy for him, but I just can’t find what he sees in her. I just never would have imagined Michael marrying a thirty year old, now. I’m starting to lose confidence in my mid-life crisis theory.'
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'I think, however, that Dina and I have both silently agreed to avoid each other as much as is humanly possible. We just talked a few seconds, the time to greet each other politely in front of Michael’s eyes. I could have sworn I saw her glare at me with a mix of disgust and satisfaction as she walked away. Something about her is wrong; I wish Michael would see it. However, after the conversation we had last year, I thought it best not to bring the subject up again, after all, he’s married her now, so he’s made his choice.'
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'I was a little lost at the beginning of the party. Even though our social circles cross, Michael’s friends aren’t exactly the same as mine. I knew a few of them by name or from a while ago but there weren’t that many people I could really relate to. Michael and his close friends spent a large amount of time verbally copulating with Dina and her bimbo friends. Just to look at them made me annoyed. Michael is a completely different person when he’s around Dina, and not in a good way. He seems to shut down a part of his brain: the fun, sensitive, philosophical part. I just miss who he used to be before he met her.'
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'Well, I didn’t spend the whole evening taking notes about them, or anything. Quite on the contrary actually: I was decided to get them out of my head. Alexander went to play with a few kids his own age, so I was free of parental duty for a few hours. I took advantage of my little freedom to get to know a man by the name of Don Lothario. Apparently he’s a friend of Dina, though I can’t exactly see what they have in common. We met by the little buffet table that had been set up. Apparently, Dina had mentioned me to him in a conversation, much to my surprise, so he knew a little of whom I was. He seemed a little shy and lonely, but was quite handsome. He has dark hair and incredible green eyes. I can’t explain what it was that fascinated me about his gaze. I think he mentioned he was in his late twenties.'
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'Don just moved to town a couple of weeks ago. He lived in the city before but his mother died a few months ago, and his father has been dead for several years, so he left it for the suburbs. He’s a medical student, currently in his residency and still works at a hospital in the city. We talked for several hours. I think we just connected quite well. It wasn’t anything sexual or lustful, but he was just very easy to talk to. I think I told him more about the family than he pretended to care. Somehow the conversation turned to my interest for Astrology, which he said he shared. It was interesting to be able to talk to someone about it, seeing that Morty regards Astrology and the rest as pseudo-sciences. In fact he was more than just someone to talk to; he answered back and had his own opinions about the subject. He probably treats it on a lighter level than I do, but who knows?'
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'We exchanged addresses and phone numbers so that we could stay in touch, and I’ll make sure to use them.'
Bella observed Don’s address and phone number scribbled in the page margin.
'We were still in conversation by the time midnight struck and for a moment, the thought of kissing him did cross my mind. It’s not that I’m peculiarly attracted to this man, in spite of his good looks, but I was a little caught up in the moment. Even if I did have a little champagne, I didn’t forget Morty and made a mental note to kiss him when I saw him.'
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'I left the party before one in the morning. I’ve never been too much of a late party person. Once midnight has passed, the point of the party seems to slowly get lost. I don’t enjoy beginning the New Year with a hangover. Anyway, I wanted to get Alex home at a descent hour or at least descent for January First and I wasn’t exactly with my favorite people on Earth. Michael offered to drive us home, which I almost accepted just to spend some time alone with him, but I had already called a cab, so I just wish him a happy New Year and left. By the time I was home and had Alexander in bed it was almost 1:30, and I was just happy to get to bed. I didn’t get to sleep that long though because Alex started getting a little hyper in the morning, as usual.'
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'Cass still hasn’t awoken from her evening. I heard her come home around six in the morning, which leaves me skeptical about seeing her face before the afternoon. Morty should be home this evening, at which time he’ll get his New Year’s Kiss. I’ll probably spend the rest of the day being lazy and taking care of a few things here and there.
New Resolutions for this year:
- Spend more time with family
- Accept Michael’s marriage once and for all.
- Talk to Dina… more than once.
- Plant some new flowers and trees.
- Get to know Don some more…
Bella'
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Reading the diary entry was very much like hearing a story she had been told as a child but hadn’t heard in many years. She was discovering everything about it, yet there was an impression of familiarity, as if she knew she had already seen it somewhere. After reading it, Bella didn’t feel like she could remember anything new, though. Even though Morty, Michael, Don and all the other people mentioned in the entry rang a bell, she couldn’t remember their appearance. She wouldn’t have been able to say how she had met them, except for Don of course, and she had no idea what would come of them afterwards. Yet, she could just remember feelings. It wasn’t very clear, and she couldn’t even make much sense of it, but as she read her diary, she could just feel what it was she had felt when she had written it. She could recognize herself through it, by her choice of words, her manner of expression and her pattern of thought.
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She now knew more than she had that morning. She still didn’t know enough to really be able to describe who she had been before being abducted, but reading about her life for the first time already gave her valuable clues to get closer to that. From what she could tell so far, she could already be relieved about the immense fear she had been carrying of being a horrible person. It was a fear that had been more vain and childish than actually founded, but as the four last weeks had gone by, her imagination had had time to create many potential scenarios. While some had been far too hopeful to be true, others had been rather terrifying and unwanted. She had reasoned that it wasn’t quite possible for her to have been a horrible person, to her own eyes, since her current assessment of good and bad was still inherited from her past life.
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She began to read the entry a second time just to make sure she hadn’t missed any details, but before she had finished, Dr. Auster walked back into the room.
“I trust you’ve had enough time to read it all by now.” he said, returning to his seat behind the desk. Without waiting for her to answer he continued:
“Today, the therapy itself will be quite short, since your knowledge about your past situation is still too limited for us to elaborate for a long time. For now, you only have your first impression from this entry. You’ll need to wait for it to sink in and for more entries to come complete it to start pulling conclusions about certain things from your reading. Today we’ll just do some surface work, meaning that we’ll try to establish a few obvious things about your life based on what appears in this journal entry.”
“So, what have you learned from this entry?” he asked her after a moment’s silence, as if she was a student in a classroom.
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“Well, already it seems obvious that I’m married, or at least living with a man named Mortimer, that I nickname Morty. It seems we have children together. There’s Alexander, who’s too young to stay up until midnight, so I’m guessing he must be under the age of ten. Then there’s Cassandra, who I call Cass, and who is old enough to be out partying on her own, and for me to think I’m still treating her like a child. So I’m guessing she’s somewhere in her late teen years, because that would put both my kids in a ten year timeframe. She’s got a friend, Mary-Sue, who must be older than her, because she’s already married, since she had a wedding. I’m not to sure about this Daniel man, though. If he’s in his forties, than he seems a little old to be Mary-Sue’s husband, but he could be her father or brother.”
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“Then, there’s Michael, who I’m guessing is an ex-boyfriend of mine, seeing how hard it is for me to accept he’s married. However, if I’m married to Mortimer and that we have a teenage – nearing adult – daughter, then we’ve been married for somewhat twenty years, which means that Michael and I would have gone quite far back. Seeing that I find him too old to be married to a thirty year old, he must be somewhere along his late forties, mid fifties. So, I’m thinking he’s my high school sweetheart or something, which would explain why it’s so difficult for me to let go of him. Finally there’s Don, who I’m obviously attracted to, what with calling him handsome and wanting to kiss him, though I refuse to admit it to myself. This is probably because he’s around thirty years old, which makes him the same age as Dina, so I can’t accept my lust for him, seeing that this would be going against the very thing I’m reproaching Michael with.”
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“Basically, I’m a married woman, obsessing over my ex boyfriend and lusting after a younger one. I can’t say the idea is too thrilling, though it’s possibly just because my life is actually quite dull. My resolutions are about family and friends and tending my garden, so I probably am a housewife, in a rut. I just do my little housewife things, and invent a few romantic fantasies to dramatize my life, though I never actually act on them. That is a little pathetic and lonely in a way, but I guess that in another, it makes me somewhat normal.”
The doctor sat in silent amazement as Bella summed up her impressions about what she had read. She had been quick to pull conclusions, and this was quite usual at first with abduction victims, who desperately tried to invent their whole life from any clue they would get. However, Bella’s analysis and self-criticism was rarer, and he was both impressed and amused by it.
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Once she had finished talking, there wasn’t much left to say. It was preferable to leave her with her first impression for now, rather than venturing other interpretations. He recommended that she try and remember what she had concluded from this reading and to possible note it down if it was helpful for her. Since she had kept a diary in the past, Bella thought it would be a good idea to continue. If she ever did get her whole memory back, she would probably be disappointed if she hadn’t continued this tradition. In this new diary, she would keep notes of her recovery, and what she learned from her past. In time she would surely start writing about her life in Strangetown as well, and the things that happened to her. As she was about to leave, a thought suddenly emerged in her mind.
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She turned to the doctor her heart full of hope and said:
“I just remembered: Don’s phone number and address are listed on the diary. Doesn’t that just mean I can now find him directly?”
“Well, we considered that when we first saw it on your journal, but look at the address: it’s hardly a place you can find precisely.”
Bella reopened to file on the desk and checked the page where she had written Don’s address down. It read: “150 Main Street”.
“You’ll find that street in just about every town, it’ll be a long search before you find Don.” he said as she looked up from the page.
“And the phone number?” she asked skeptically, knowing he would have already told her if it was possible.
“Strangetown is cut off from the world: we’re not connected to international phone lines; we only have our local network. On top of that, the number you wrote is a local number. Without the area code it can potentially correspond to quite a few places so we can’t find out where you’re from for now.”
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Bella sighed in disappointment. She had known it wasn’t very probable she would get out of her situation like that, but she had still hoped for a second that she had found a solution. She took the blue file in her hand and bid the doctor goodbye.
She exited the office and walked down the office halls heading towards the nurses’ station at the floor below to find Jenny. Her first therapy session had been interesting. The frustration of not knowing more about her life started up again inside of her. It wasn’t as intense as it had been before, after waiting for almost four weeks just to get her hands on some information about the past, but those few pages had hardly been enough, to satisfy her craving to find out who she was. As the journal entry had come to an end, she had felt an urge inside of her to read more, even though she was forced to stop. She could now see why the doctors had kept her journal from her. She would have surely read it all in a day had she had the option.
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She reached the nurses’ station, where Jenny and she had agreed to meet. Jenny was sitting at the front desk dealing with some paperwork and looked up as Bella approached.
“Hey, I’m just finishing up here and then we can go” she told Bella, rising from her chair, without interrupting her writing. She took a few minutes to clear up the files and folders in front of her. When she had finished, she went to a room at the back to change out of her nurse clothes and into her casual daily ones.
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She emerged a few minutes later looking more relaxed than she had seemed while she was working.
“So, how was therapy?” she asked, leading the way towards the elevators.
Bella told her the content of the journal entry and how she had felt about it. Jenny listened quite excitedly, greeting the news of Bella’s marriage and children happily. They made their way through the lobby and towards the front door, still talking. Just as they reached the entrance area with the large fountain, they were both startled by the sight of a young man running in with bloodstains on his shirt.
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He was tall and wore his hair in a black Mohawk; his clothes were rather dull and torn in some places, other than the large red stains on them. The young man stopped dead in his tracks in front of them and just gazed blankly at them. He didn’t seem aware of the fact that he was rather severely wounded in the chest and stomach, which would have caused anyone else unbearable pain. He just stayed transfixed in front of Bella and Jenny. His appearance had been so sudden and brutal, that both women just stood in shock for a few moments not knowing what to do. His entrance, though it was starting to attract the eye of a few people close by, had still gone rather unnoticed in the lobby, mainly due to the fact that he wasn’t acting like a person in need of medical attention, in spite of his obvious condition. Jenny would have usually reacted faster in such a situation, but the abnormality of his behavior perplexed her.
“Sir, are you all right?” she tried asking hesitantly.
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The young man didn’t answer; in fact, he hardly seemed to notice he was being addressed. His eyes, though out of focus, seemed to turn towards Bella ever so slightly. Then, without warning, he suddenly, lunged forward and took hold of Bella’s front clothes. Bella shrieked by the brutal attack, finally bringing attention to the situation. Jenny attempted to pull him off, but she was hardly able to shake him. Bella, like a deer under headlights, didn’t even attempt to move, too shocked by what was happening. People started moving around her; she saw Jenny run to somewhere in her back. Things started getting confused and blurry. She noticed the young man wasn’t looking at her, but at her abdomen. He seemed hypnotized by it and his intense gaze pierced through her.
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Then, he began to speak. He spoke in an urgent whisper, which was just loud enough for Bella to hear:
“Not one, but two children lay here, life barely entering their quivering bodies. From the past they are created; for the future they live. Their color means only one thing: danger!”
As quick as a lightning bolt, the man’s eyes darted to gaze directly into Bella’s eyes, before he continued on the same tone:
“The mother is unaware of what is planned for her. All she sees is not what it seems. She’s just playing a part without realizing it’s for a play. Years before she knows shall pass. She’ll ignore those who pretend to be spectators but already know the ending. Only by improvising can she lead the others to the Truth. But she must beware of the Dark Silence, observing from backstage, but acting closely…”
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He suddenly stopped talking and his body became limp, as doctors, who had run back towards Bella, sedated him and heaved his body away from her.
“Are you all right?” asked Jenny, holding Bella’s arm.
Bella looked down to where the young man had been just moments ago. Blood had spilled from his body onto her clothes leaving remarkable stains. Everything had happened in a flash, it took her a moment just to regain her senses.
“Who was that?” she gasped.
“I have no idea; I’ve never seen him around here before, and Lord knows this town is small….”
“I think he knew me.” Bella continued. “He was talking about me like if he knew me.”
“What did he say?”
“Something about how I was in danger, how I had to be careful… I don’t know, it happened so fast, and he was talking really weirdly. He wasn’t even talking to me but more at me; as if he was talking to himself about me. I think he also said I was pregnant.”
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“Pregnant?” Jenny repeated. She seemed to find the idea amusing.
“What?”
“Well, some random guy comes in, tells you you’re in danger and you’re pregnant and you believe him?” She raised an eyebrow at Bella.
“Well, it’s just the way he acted, that makes me think he’s more than just a random guy. You saw how he was when he walked in.”
“The guy is probably on drugs or something. He must be just hallucinating.”
“You have drugs in this town?” Bella asked skeptically.
“You have no idea what the kids in University have fun creating in their labs.”
Bella grimaced at the idea. She still wasn’t entirely convinced by what Jenny was saying.
“Look, you’re just hoping to find something about your past, but I don’t think old acquaintances are going to drop out of the sky just yet. Let’s get you cleaned up and go home. I’m going to help admit this guy in and then we’ll go.”
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Jenny leant Bella some clothes she usually kept at the hospital and told her she would need just a few more minutes to help out with the newcomer. As Bella made her way down to the lobby, her eye was caught by the gift shop and she couldn’t resist heading in and buying a pregnancy test, just for good measure. She held it close to her palm, hiding it underneath her journal entry file. She knew Jenny would find the idea ridiculous and didn’t want to explain how she felt. Something about this man had struck her more than she was admitting it. She didn’t know what it was but somehow she didn’t feel like he had attacked her, more like he had, indeed, been warning her.
Jenny came down some ten minutes later and stated it was all cleared. They headed to the parking lot and back home.
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A couple of hours later, Bella was in the bathroom at the Smith residence, nervously waiting for the result of her pregnancy test. She was sitting on the toilet, absent-mindedly reading the instructions for the hundredth time, just to keep herself busy. She knew perfectly well that a blue line would appear in the little window if she was pregnant, three to five minutes after taking the test. She checked her watch: two minutes and half had gone by. Her heartbeat quickened. She couldn’t have explained why she was so nervous about this. The idea of being pregnant hadn’t crossed her mind ever since she had arrived and had anyone else suggested it before, she would have laughed at thought. Yet, when that man had talked to her in such a dramatic fashion, she had felt something inside of her scream that he wasn’t just a hallucinating junkie.
She observed as the seconds hand of her watch moved past the number 12, announcing the end of the third minute; it was time.
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Bella took a deep breath and turned the pregnancy test over; a clear blue line was visible in the window. She frantically checked the instructions again, to make sure she hadn’t misread. The result was there: she was pregnant. She put the test and instructions back on the end table next to the toilet and got up. She took a few steps around the bathroom, lost in empty contemplation, before leaning on the sink, to give herself a look in the mirror. Tears were forming in her eyes, and she didn’t care to hold them back. They were neither tears of joy nor of sadness but just of release from the overwhelming feelings. Only a week ago she was finding out the horrible truth of everything that had happened to her, why she couldn’t remember her past and the potential years of therapy she would be facing. As if it hadn’t been enough to deal with, she now had a child on the way, making her chaotic life, even more complicated.
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She paced the bathroom a few more times, wiping her tears and recomposing herself. She did not yet know how she felt about her becoming a mother, which would surely affect her life significantly. Just a few hours ago she had learned about her children, Alexander and Cassandra, but she hadn’t come to accept them, for now. She had been informed about her motherhood as if it was a story, an alternate reality, that didn’t really have an impact on her. This pregnancy brought her motherly role to a much more present reality. She felt so confused; so many questions were rushing through her mind. How could she raise a child, born from a man she couldn’t remember? Who was that young man and how had he known about her? And hadn’t he said there were two babies?
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Even though everything had happened so quickly, Bella could now remember his words, as if they were engraved in stone in front of her:
“Not one, but two children lay here, life barely entering their quivering bodies.”
She had hardly been able to make sense of it all on the moment, and it was still so confusing, but whatever it had meant, she now knew there was truth in it. The reality of the situation had yet to fully sink in, and Bella knew there would come a time when she would come to really understand what becoming a mother meant.
It was as if in just a few hours, the small world she had been trying to build for a few weeks was suddenly out of place and needed to be completely rebuilt. So much had changed just by the result of that test, and no one even knew about it. She had to find Jenny.
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Bella cleared up the bathroom and returned to the living room. Jenny was in the kitchen, preparing dinner, cutting up vegetables for a salad. She acknowledged Bella’s presence by looking up and smiling before returning to her preparation. Everything around her was so normal and simple, that for a moment, Bella almost forgot all about her problems… almost. She reminded herself of the reason she had come to Jenny and decided it was time to speak up:
“Jenny, you remember that young man in the hospital?”
“Oh Bella, you’re not still on that are you?” said Jenny, feeling Bella was still troubled by it.
“I am, actually; and he was right… I’m pregnant.”
Jenny put her knife down and looked up at Bella again, but this time, she wasn’t smiling; she looked puzzled. Bella continued:
“While you were admitting him, I went to the gift shop and bought a pregnancy test, which I just took; it’s positive”
“Pregnant? Bella, how can you be pregnant? I mean, how can you already be pregnant?”
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For a moment Bella laughed at what Jenny was insinuating.
“I didn’t get pregnant in Strangetown, if that’s what you mean. I was actually considering what you said the other day: what if the aliens did this to me?”
“No, that’s not possible. Pirate aliens don’t impregnate their hostages, since it’s just supposed to be a cultural favor, and either way only males come home pregnant from abductions, not females. This child is Mortimer’s.”
Again Bella couldn’t hold back a laugh, but it wasn’t the pleasant spontaneous laughter from before; it was eerie and sad. To hear his name when she couldn’t even remember the sound of his voice, to try to imagine him when she couldn’t even remember his face, to bear his child when she couldn’t even remember his touch was more than she could stand.
“Yes, Mortimer’s…” she said blankly. “What the viability of these tests? I mean, how sure is it?”
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“Pregnancy tests detect certain hormones that are only produced during pregnancy. If you looked at the result, in a three to five minute time frame, you’re pretty sure. False positives are quite rare, unless you have a certain disease which also produces those hormones, but seeing you were just in the hospital for three weeks, we would know. It’s just surprising that after the abduction, you didn’t have a miscarriage, or that no one at the hospital detected it.”
“What surprises me most is that that man who ran into the hospital knew.” said Bella.
“Yeah, it is odd that what he said made you think you were pregnant, when you in fact were.”
“No Jenny! He knew! I’m sure that he knew!” Bella cried in exasperation.
“Bella, that’s not possible, no one knows you here.”
“Well you said no one knows him either, maybe we come from the same place!”
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“I said that I didn’t know him. I’m sure he’s from the college, there are many people there; I don’t know them all. Usually the people from the College go to the campus hospital, but he may have been in Strangetown, for I don’t know what reason. Look, I know you’re hoping he too was abducted, but those weren’t abduction injuries, he was just hurt in a bad fight or something. Abduction victims are rare; it’ll probably be another five or ten years before we see another. There won’t be someone who’s going to come right behind you, especially from your hometown.”
“Look, you don’t have to believe me; I’m not expecting you to understand what or how I felt it in that moment, but I know there’s something more to this kid than just an experimental hallucinatory drug, so can you please just tell me when he wakes up? I want to talk to him again.”
“Fine, if it means that much to you, I’ll make sure you can see him again, but don’t get your hopes up about this, is all I’m saying.”
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Even though Jenny had hoped Bella would just forget the matter, she was wrong. Every day Bella kept asking if he had awoken, and she even came by the hospital to see him.
“I didn’t get a good look at him, at first, it was all so quick, I want to see if I can remember his face when I see it.” she had said.
Seeing him hadn’t helped Bella remember anything more but she didn’t lose hope and kept waiting for his awakening.
Jenny knew her friend was just trying to fill in the gap of her past, but she was afraid of seeing this man become an obsession in Bella’s desperate search for answers.
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The following week was Bella’s first hypnotherapy session. She had been looking forward to it, because from what she had understood of it, it wasn’t just about reading her past but actually reliving it. Jenny’s brothers had been right: after having let it sink in, she had come to look at her remembering that flash from her abduction a good thing and she was now ready to remember more, no matter how hard it might be.
As she walked down the hospital hallways, towards Dr. Auster’s office, she couldn’t help but feel nervous. She had so many questions that she needed answers to, and everything was so new. She had no idea how this was going to take place, but she was anxious to begin.
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She reached his office and lightly knocked on the door before entering. Dr. Auster was sitting at his desk, reading some documents in front of him. Without looking up he invited Bella to sit down, and he got up to put away the papers he was looking at. When he returned to his seat, he directly began speaking, without any form of casual greeting:
“As you already know, today is your first hypnotherapy session; these will take place once a month. Today, I’m just going to take a bit of time here to explain you how this is going to work, but starting next month we’ll meet directly in the hypnotherapy room, which I’ll show you later.”
“The process of this therapy is quite unique and different from what you may have heard of in your past life. Even if you have no memory of your past, your knowledge of things remained, and since you didn’t ask what hypnotherapy was when you were told about it, you must have had some idea of what it was before arriving here.”
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“The technique that is used in this therapy has been developed by our researchers, so it is only known to us, in Strangetown. Of course, it will share some obvious similarities with other techniques, since we’re still working on the same field.”
“And what does this technique consist of?” asked Bella.
“Well, it’s based on a cocktail of hypnotic drugs, which will put you into a dream state, but it will leave you your consciousness. From this dream state you can explore your mind and have access to your memories. You’ll require a lot of concentration and training to gain full use of this technique and maintain a proper lucidity, throughout the process. You see, without concentration, you’ll stop being entirely conscious and the hypnotherapy will take place just like a dream which, of course, won’t be productive. Your first sessions probably won’t provide as much results as you’re hoping for. You’ll need time to get used to the procedure and understand how it fully works.”
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“The world that’ll surround you during these hypnotherapy sessions will seem very real, but it won’t follow the same logic as the physical one. Things can change rapidly; you might open a door and find a place that doesn’t make sense behind it. Today’s session will allow you to familiarize yourself with this world, while allowing us to get used to working with you, and start understanding your brain and its patterns. As time goes by and we work more together, sessions will become more productive, because we’ll be in better disposition to help you access your memories rapidly.” Dr. Auster stopped talking for a moment.
“Do you have any questions?” he then asked. Bella thought about this for a moment before answering.
“I’m wondering how the drugs will affect my body.”
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“Well, to put things simply, they put you to sleep, but the process will differ from your usual sleep, since you’ll be aware of it happening. Your body will regenerate as long as you’re under the effect of the drugs, like in normal sleep. Once the drugs dissipate, you’ll wake up naturally, though we have ways of waking you up sooner if it’s necessary.”
“Also, I recently found out I was pregnant, from my past life, will any of this affect the baby?”
“I actually already knew this; word spreads quickly around here. You don’t have to worry, this treatment won’t affect your child. The baby may feel more relaxed during these sessions at most, but it won’t be harmful.”
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“Well, if that’s all the questions you have, we’ll be getting started. Let me show you to the hypnotherapy room.” said Dr. Auster, getting up and heading towards the door. He held it open for Bella, who exited the offices. He followed her into the hallway, and led the way down the hospital corridors, towards the hypnotherapy room.
He stopped at the end of a hallway, in front of a glass door, and headed inside. They were standing in a small vestibule which gave off to two rooms, to the right, through similar glass doors.
“We’ll be monitoring and guiding you from here.” said Dr. Auster, showing through the doors closest to the entrance, behind which was a small control room with computers, chairs and several filing cabinets. The chairs were facing a window which gave onto another room.
“This is where you’ll be.” he said, going towards the other set of doors and showing her inside the room on the other side of the window.
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The room was brightly lit and was mainly occupied by a black leather doctor’s chair, surrounded by medical supplies.
“You can have a seat and a nurse will shortly come and help you prepare.”
Dr. Auster left the room and Bella saw him enter the control module behind the window. She sat down in the chair and waited patiently for a few minutes. A nurse entered and greeted Bella, saying she was there to help her get ready. She reintroduced a syringe in her arm, in the same place her transfusion drip had been attached before, while she was recovering in the hospital. Having something stick into her arm made Bella feel a little queasy though she had gotten used to the feeling after bearing one for over two weeks.
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“Your medication will come through here when the doctors and you are ready to start.” said the nurse as she pointed out the tube leading from a drip to her arm.
“And headphones are directly implanted inside the headrest, so you can hear but also talk to the doctors at any time.” she added.
She wished Bella good luck and exited the room. Bella relaxed in her seat, looking around her at the white walls, waiting for hypnotherapy to begin.
“Bella can you hear me?” came a familiar voice in her ear that made her slightly jump.
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She turned to the window to see Lazlo in the cabin, sitting next to Dr. Auster; she had clearly recognized Lazlo’s warm voice.
“Lazlo, you didn’t tell me you would be one of my doctors!” she exclaimed.
“Yeah, we thought we should leave you the surprise.” he replied cheerfully.
“We?” came Dr. Auster’s cold voice.
“The family, I mean.” said Lazlo, looking at Dr. Auster annoyingly. “I’m actually filling in for Pascal, who’s on paternity break. He usually does this and – Come on, man! Chill!” Lazlo had turned to Dr. Auster, who had a grave look on his face. “This guy is freaked we’re going to have some kind of family reunion in here.”
“And that is exactly what this is becoming.” Dr. Auster said irritably, pronouncing every syllable stiffly. “So I will not ‘chill’. The fact that Ms. Goth and you share a friendly relationship shouldn’t and won’t change the way these sessions work.”
“Okay.” Lazlo sighed like an overgrown adolescent.
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“Now, Ms. Goth,” he continued in a very formal tone with a hint of an English accent. “We shall soon begin.”
“That’s quite enough of that!” Dr. Auster spat, seeing Bella giggling in her chair. “I will not tolerate your mocking me and your lack of professionalism; now please concentrate Dr. Curious.”
“Then stop judging the way I work! If my patient and I treat each other on a first name basis, and we work well together, I don’t see what the problem is!”
“Fine!” Dr. Auster sighed in defeat. “Now can we please focus on the patient?” he said, gesturing towards the window.
“Yeah, sorry about that Bella, we’re going to get started in a bit.” said Lazlo.
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Bella hadn’t said a word during their argument, not wanting to intervene where it wasn’t her place, but she largely agreed with Lazlo. Strangetown was a small community, after all, where Bella expected everyone to get along in friendly manners. That was, at least, the impression the Smith family had left on her. Dr. Auster’s formal attitude was excessive for such a place.
“All right, Ms. Goth, we’re ready to begin, in here. How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.” Bella answered automatically.
“Okay, Bella, we’re going to inject you with the drugs and you’ll start falling asleep. It may not be very comfortable, but try to ignore it and stay focused on the exercise and it’ll pass.” said Lazlo.
“I’m going to count back from ten to one. When I reach one, you will be asleep.” There was a short pause and Bella waited apprehensively for the exercise to begin.
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“Ten.” came Lazlo’s voice.
She felt her body begin to relax.
“Nine.”
Every muscle in her body was now at rest; her eyelids closed.
“Eight.”
A small tingling sensation began in her legs and arms.
“Seven.”
The tingling sensation spread to her abdomen, chest and head.
“Six.”
She could hear her own heartbeat from inside her chest.
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“Five.”
The tingling sensation was growing stronger in intensity and she felt as though her body was vibrating.
“Four.”
Her heartbeat seemed to be quickening and getting stronger.
“Three.”
Her whole body was vibrating intensely and it seemed every cell of her being was following the movement of her heart.
“Two.”
Everything was so intense she thought she might pass out. She felt as though she were swaying from one side of the chair to another very rapidly.
“One.”
Her body became one with the vibration and everything around her disappeared. Darkness surrounded her; she was gone.
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She felt like she was traveling at the speed of light. Time had no meaning anymore and when Lazlo spoke again, she felt like an eternity had gone by.
“Bella, can you hear me?” his voice asked in the darkness.
“Yes.” she answered slowly. Her voice rang twice: she could hear herself saying it in the dream state and I her physical body.
“Bella do you have a body?” he asked after another eternity.
A strange question, she thought. She did in fact feel she had a body, not just her physical one, but a dream one.
“Yes.” she said again.
“I want you to look at your feet.”
The request would have seemed quite simple in the real world, but in this unknown state, Bella was blind.
“I can’t see.” she admitted.
“I know, but just look at your feet anyway.”
Bella did as she was told. She didn’t move her head; she didn’t even know how to, but she concentrated her attention on the area she felt her feet were in.
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To her surprise, in the haze of the darkness, the outline of two feet appeared. She wasn’t seeing them, like she could usually see with her eyes, but she could perceive them, somehow. She concentrated on them even harder and the details started appearing too. She could see two feet in elegant red evening shoes, her shoes.
“I can see them” she said.
“Good, now discover the rest of your body.”
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Bella continued to look at her feet and started concentrating on her ankles, then her calves, and then her knees… This way, she slowly materialized her whole body. She wasn’t wearing the same clothes she had brought to the hospital, but a beautiful red knee long evening dress. She recognized it as the one she had seen in her vision the previous week, except this time, it was clean and full. Her hair was also different: it was shoulder length and gracefully cut.
“I can see myself. I – I’m different.” she said.
“Try to see where you are.” Lazlo commanded.
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Through the same way, Bella materialized the floor beneath her feet, which stretched out until it reached walls that climbed and formed a ceiling. She was standing in a white room. It was very bright, but there was no source of lighting; it seemed the light was coming from the floor, walls and ceiling themselves. The room was rather large and empty, and there were no doors leading in or out of it. However there were two black wrought iron staircases in the center of the room, near Bella. One dug onto the floor and led somewhere below, the other climbed through the ceiling to a higher place. Bella was unable to see beyond the room and where either staircase led.
She describes the two sets of stairs to Lazlo.
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“Go up.” said Dr. Auster’s voice behind her.
She turned around and saw a white speaker on the wall; his voice seemed to have come from it.
“What?” she asked it, confused.
“Try to go up the stairs.” Lazlo’s voice echoed loudly in the room from another speaker that appeared on the opposite wall. Bella found that keeping concentration was difficult; new elements kept appearing around her. It seemed as though her thoughts and feelings themselves materialized through the dream in odd colorful dream matter.
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She pulled her focus on the staircase leading upwards and walked towards it. Reaching it seemed to take a lifetime, even though it had seemed so close her before.
She reached the foot of the stairs and climbed into the first step. Stepping onto the second step seemed to be harder. The higher she went, the more concentration it required. Eventually, she could no longer go further, and she didn’t seem to be anywhere near the end of the stairs.
“I can’t!” she moaned.
“It’s all right, go back down and try the other one.” Lazlo’s speaker said
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Coming back down the stairs was easy, almost as though a force was pushing her down. Bella walked towards the second set of stairs. She couldn’t see where it led down to, but she didn’t have a good feeling about it. Still, she did as she was told and descended. This one wasn’t difficult and she could easily progress downwards. The stairs seem to descend forever, but Bella just kept going forward.
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When she reached the bottom of the stairs she was standing on a small wooden platform with a thin telescope on it. Beyond the platform there was nothing: no walls, no floors… nothing; the world did not exist beyond the little wooden platform. She still didn’t understand how any of this was supposed to help.
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“Look inside.” A voice said behind her.
She spun around and saw the young man from the hospital, staring at her, still wearing his bloody T-shirt. However, his voice had changed; it was deeper and stronger.
“Should I?” Bella asked him, curiously amused. Her voice only rang once: in her dream.
“Yeah, go on.” he insisted.
Bella walked up to the telescope and peered inside.
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The scene that materialized in front of her caught her breath. She recognized her abduction, though it didn’t look the same as it had when she had seen it, the previous week, in her vision. Last time, she had remembered the event as it had happened, from her point of view. However, all she could see of it now were the two menacing aliens standing over her own inanimate curled up body, blood spilling from the cuts in her dress onto the cold white tiles. There was no progress in the scene: the aliens just repeated their harmful movements with their weapons in their hands over and over, like cheap puppets. The result wasn’t less terrifying.
She could no longer see the rest of the room the action had taken place in. instead, behind them were three other scenes, that seemed to be unrelated, but which surrounded the aliens and her.
In the one furthest to the left, she could see many flower petals and a hand passing through them. She could hear a soft, music-like whisper coming from it.
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The second image showed a crowd of people. It was blurry and confused, and Bella could hear different pieces of conversations all mixed in one loud buzz of noise, and champagne glasses clinking together.
In the third scene, furthest to the right, she could see a pair of female lips that seemed to be talking, though Bella couldn’t really hear the words properly. The lips smiled and seemed to form a laugh, and a streak of blond hair was gently pulled away from in front of them. This didn’t make Bella feel warm, quite on the contrary, she disliked it.
Bella couldn’t really have explained the horrible anguish she felt as she looked at all these fragments of scenes. She didn’t know whether she had been gazing through the telescope for a long time, or just seconds, but she knew she needed to pull away from it, as though she were in danger while gazing through it.
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She stood up, but instead of finding herself standing on the platform with the telescope, she felt herself falling backwards. She saw flashes of black and white and stumbled down a set of wrought iron stairs. It wasn’t until the white floor broke her fall, that she realized she had come rolling down that stairs that led through the ceiling of the big white room. She remembered Dr. Auster’s words, about how things wouldn’t always make sense in the dream world; apparently, he’d been right. She lay on the white ground, in pain, refusing to get back up. She felt rather irritated: all of this trouble and discomfort and she still couldn’t say she remembered anything new. She had imagined hypnotherapy would be a more direct way to regain her memory and that she would be seeing her experience clearly and vividly like it had happened with her vision. In the distance, Lazlo’s speaker asked if she was all right, but she didn’t care to answer it.
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Slowly, she drifted into thought and the world around her seemed to get blurry and become more distanced. The speakers asked her to concentrate, but it was too late: Bella was unconsciously dreaming. For a moment, the world seemed suspended in time and space. And then, Bella realized she was sitting and she felt the leather doctor’s chair beneath her. She blinked and opened her eyes; she was back in the hypnotherapy room and the nurse was already over her, taking the electrodes and syringe off. She spoke a few reassuring words to Bella and then, wishing her a good day, she bustled out of the room.
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Next, Dr. Auster came in the room and asked her to follow him. Through the window, Lazlo waved at her before returning to a paper he had been reading. Dr. Auster took her back to his office and explained they had awoken her, when they saw she had lost her concentration for the exercise.
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He then asked her to explain him with as much detail as possible, what she had seen during the hypnotherapy. Bella recalled her appearance, the white room, the stairs, the speakers, and the platform with the telescope and the scene fragments. As she talked, Dr. Auster took many notes on a paper in front of him. She expressed her frustration that the whole process seemed complicated and rather unproductive, but he assured her she just needed time to get used to it and to understand how to explore the dream state. He concluded saying that today had indeed been a good session. Though Bella wasn’t entirely convinced by the response, she decided to accept it for now.
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As she was about to leave, Dr. Auster added:
“Your next hypnotherapy is in a month. While waiting for it, I would like you to carry out a simple exercise every night before falling asleep: relax your body as much as possible and try to clear your mind. This will train you both physically and mentally at getting better concentration, which is essential for this exercise, as you have seen.” and before she had time to reply he said:
“I’ll see you in two weeks for your next journal reading.” He got up and opened the door for her. She thanked him, but left the office feeling disappointed.
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As she emerged into the hallway, she saw Jenny, who had been leaning against the wall, clearly waiting for her, walk towards her.
“How was it?” she asked.
Bella shrugged; she didn’t feel like talking about it just yet, after having just explained everything she had seen to Dr. Auster.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” she asked, changing the subject as a nurse squeezed his way in between them, down the hall. “I thought I was supposed to meet you downstairs at the nurses’ station.”
“Well, yes, that was what we had said, but something has happened.” said Jenny. “You asked me to tell you as soon as it did, and since he’s at this floor, I thought I might as well, wait for you out here.”
Instantly, Bella’s mind was off hypnotherapy.
“The young man woke up?” she asked.
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Jenny nodded.
“Can I see him?”
“Of course, that’s why I’m here. Come on.”
Immediately they started walking and Jenny led the way towards the mysterious man’s room. She stopped in front of a door down a small hallway. A window covered with open horizontal blinds showed into the room from where they were standing. Bella peered inside and saw the young man lying on his bed, over the sheet, staring in front of him in empty contemplation.
She expected to go inside but Jenny didn’t open the door. Instead she said:
“Before you go in, I think you should be informed of a few things. When he woke up, he refused to tell us who he was or where he came from. He told us to call him Nervous, so we just call him that for now, but we still don’t have a clue of who he is, or even if he does. So, if he doesn’t give you answers, don’t be surprised.”
Bella nodded and Jenny opened the door. She walked inside and Bella followed but waited on the threshold.
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“Nervous,” Jenny said, addressing the young man, who seemed to take a small moment to realize he was being talked to. “I brought that visitor I told you about before. This is Bella.” she said, turning towards the door. Bella smiled at him and he nodded, as if to accept her presence. Jenny walked out of the room and closed the door, which Bella hadn’t expected. She looked at Nervous, whose eyes seemed not to have left her since she’s walked in. There was an awkward silence, during which Bella sat down, trying to think of a way to start the conversation.
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“Look, I don’t exactly know what Jenny told you about me.” she started, but he continued to stare at her. “Err – What did she say?” she reformulated explicitly.
“You think you know me.” said Nervous. Bella didn’t know whether he was answering her question or just stating another fact he seemed to know about her.
“Actually, I feel like you know me. You said some things about me; I didn’t even know were true.”
“Did I?” Nervous asked, looking genuinely, and maybe a little scared.
“You don’t remember.” Bella said sadly. It wasn’t a question.
“I don’t.” he confirmed. “What did I say?”
Bella was surprised he was accepting what she was saying, so easily. He didn’t seem bothered being told he had done something, without being able to remember it.
“Well, you seemed to know I was pregnant, which I later found out I was.”
Nervous’ ayes drifted towards Bella’s abdomen, like they had done a few days ago in the entrance hall. He didn’t reply.
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“How did you know that?” Bella asked, deciding it was time to get some answers.
“You yourself said I don’t remember.”
“Easy excuse,” Bella dismissed harshly. “You don’t remember running in here with blood stains on your shirt? You don’t remember almost assaulting me and telling me I was pregnant? You don’t remember telling me I was in danger?” Bella asked sarcastically.
“No.” Bella rose from her chair in irritation.
“Look, I was abducted by aliens a month ago and I have no idea who I am and where I come from. Then, you walk in here and say all these things about me and some turn out to be true. You didn’t invent it and I want to know how you knew!”
Again, Nervous just stared at her.
“Where do you come from?” she asked impatiently.
Nervous didn’t answer, but Bella noticed how he glanced away.
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“Where do you come from?” she repeated loudly. “Look at me!” Nervous’ eyes darted back into hers. “What’s your name?” she demanded.
“You know it.” he replied, in a tone almost sounding naive.
“I want your real name! No one is called Nervous! The doctors themselves think it’s a lie!”
“Well, I guess I’m special then!” he yelled back at her and for the first time, there was anger in his voice.
“WHAT – IS – YOUR – NAME?” Bella insisted heatedly.
“I don’t have one! You want my name? Go ask them! All they ever called me was the nervous subject!”
The door opened and Jenny rushed back in, looking wildly around the room to see what the problem was. Bella ignored her.
“‘They’? Who are ‘They’?” she pressed on, feeling she was getting closer.
Nervous looked away again, as though he had made a mistake.
“Bella, what’s going on?” Jenny asked
“Who do you mean by ‘they’, Nervous?” Bella asked again.
Nervous answered so silently, Bella almost didn’t hear him.
“The Beakers” he whispered as though committing a crime.
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“Who?” Bella asked confused.
“Are you talking about Circe and Loki Beaker?” Jenny asked walking up to the bed.
Nervous looked at her, terrorized.
“Who are they?” Bella asked, looking quizzically from Jenny to Nervous.
“They’re this middle-aged couple, who live on Tesla court, near the spaceship crash site. They’re scientists, like most people out here, but they tend to keep to themselves.” Jenny said.
“Are they the ones who hurt you?”
“I don’t know.” Nervous replied softly. “Maybe they did; they have before.”
“Why?” Jenny asked, looking surprised.
“They never really told me why, they didn’t even give me a real name.”
“What?”
“They adopted me, I think, when I was a kid, but they didn’t treat me like a child. I was like a laboratory rat for them. They kept me locked in the basement and only let me out for experimentation. They just called me the nervous subject, because of the way I acted, which eventually became the nickname they used to refer to me and address me with.”
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Bella looked at Jenny, whose face reflected the bewilderment she felt.
“We should call the police.” Bella said.
“Yeah.”
“I – I don’t want to cause any trouble!” Nervous said quickly.
“Nervous, these people harmed you and they aren’t going to get away with it. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.” Bella said reassuringly, but Nervous still didn’t look entirely convinced.
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That afternoon, the Beakers were arrested. Having spent most of his life inside their house, it seemed quite improbable that Nervous had ever met Bella. Yet, she still hadn’t found an explanation for the prediction he had made. Also, the tragic story of his life had made her feel sympathy for him and she took much interest in the development of the Beakers’ arrest. In fact, she wasn’t alone at this. Strangetown, though it had its quirks, was usually quite calm. Nervous’ case became the most interesting gossip in the town that week. Though many people just regarded it as an interesting story, Bella wanted to make sure the Beakers would never harm Nervous again. She didn’t know why she felt so involved in this; after all, it didn’t really concern her. Maybe it was the fact that Nervous seemed to know who she was, or maybe she was just in dire need of something to do, that didn’t involve remembering the past.
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Within a week, however, Nervous’ story seemed to have become old news. It stopped appearing on the local news and no one really had any interest for it anymore. This annoyed Bella, but she was even more appalled when she learned the Beakers were actually at home, free of charge. They had been only ordered to let Nervous go and not to take any more human hostages for scientific purposes. Nervous assured her he didn’t mind, and that he was actually glad to leave a place he resented, but Bella refused to let the matter go. The Smiths became half-amused, half-annoyed to see her obsess about it in the days that followed.
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Eventually, one afternoon, Jenny tried to tell her to drop it.
“How can you say that?” Bella asked, looking outraged. “They abused of his life! They just used him for experimentation! It’s like slavery, if not worse.”
“Look, Bella, you probably come from a place where all of this is unacceptable and I admire your values but this is Strangetown. Things are different here.”
“What? No one cares for human life?” she asked sarcastically.
“Of course, we care about other people’s lives.” she said calmly, like explaining something to a small child. “But there is no law here. We don’t have courts and prisons. What you called the police is hardly worthy of that name. We live in harmonious anarchy. I mean, we have a system, but it’s based on our scientific research. As long as everyone does their job and lives their life without bothering others, we don’t have problems.”
“But there is a problem here! The Beakers did ‘bother’ Nervous while ‘living their lives’.”
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